Goodbye Little Guy. Our Poodle Died.

My wife and I adore miniature poodles. Their personalities are incredible, they're smart, and playing with them brings about a very gratifying type of bonding.

In 2009, we adopted what had been a very abused chocolate poodle. We named him Jack Bauer in a twist of irony - he was incredibly shy and fearful of nearly everything. We didn't know he had a tail for the first couple of months we had him - no joke. I don't think he kept it down on purpose, I think it was frozen in place.

Over the next five years, Jack Bauer changed from that fearful dog into a happy, loving dog. He even tried to become a protector. If he thought someone was going to hurt my wife, Jack Bauer would charge that person in a barking fury. We had to work with him, in fact, to keep him from becoming too aggressive.

I've been married two and a half years. Jack Bauer has spent more nights with me than my wife has!

This little dog will always have a place in our hearts. Helping him heal helped us as individuals and couples - we're thankful for that little dog. And right now, there is a hole in our home.

Jack wasn't a person. If he was, we know he would have wanted us to help other dogs in need of rescuing. That's why even though we are hurting, we are moving forward to try and adopt at least one other dog. We have applied for a pair of poodles - brothers. If our application is successful, we will meet the dogs and make a prayerful decision on whether or not to bring them in our home

Jack Bauer, and Midnight I and II before you - thanks for the memories!

Wife, How I Miss You!

My wife has been out of town this weekend. Having her gone is always a reminder of how much I depend on her. I'm not talking exclusively in terms of having a heavier workload when she's not here.

I just flat out miss her.

Did Steve Jobs Create the iCloud to Eternally Hold His Consciousness?

In Star Trek: The Next Generation's Schizoid Man, a brilliant researcher who is conscious of his impending death meets Data, sees the potential of his advanced neural net, and uploads his consciousness to the android.

The theme of eternal consciousness through a computer or artificial life form is not limited to Star Trek. The Dr. Who episode Silence in the Library is about a girl trapped in a computer; it is a simulation created by her family to store her consciousness alongside all information in the universe. Literature, music, and art are to be her companions.

Steve Jobs knew he was dying but did not seek appropriate treatment; he distrusted modern medicine. But he had a tremendous amount of trust in himself. He worked on revolutionary new technology towards the end of his life. Jobs was also very cognizant of his impending death:

Remembering that I'll be dead soon is the most important tool I've ever encountered to help me make the big choices in life. Because almost everything — all external expectations, all pride, all fear of embarrassment or failure - these things just fall away in the face of death, leaving only what is truly important.

What is more important to a man than his own essence? Very few things. Steve had ample time to create a system that would capture what was truly important to him.

Is Steve Jobs in the iCloud?

The storage technology does perhaps exist for such a system.

The ability to read and transfer the mind's information almost certainly does not. This obstacle would be enough to prevent even the most technologically genius billionaire from uploading themselves to an artificial device. Steve was not a doctor, an his statement regarding his pancreatic cancer, "I didn't even know what a pancreas was" reveals that he most certainly did not have the medical background to create a secret piece of technology. If he hired someone to attempt such a feat, the news would have almost certainly leaked out.

More difficult than that would be the provisions for processing power. The mind functions differently than traditional computers, with many more parallel operations. The mind isn't necessarily faster than a computer, but it has more hauling power, the way a dump truck would compared to a NASCAR vehicle. It is difficult to believe that anyone would have the control technology to parallel enough processors to simulate a full human mind, even if we did understand the mind enough to design such a system (which we do not).

Steve Jobs most certainly does not live in the iCloud, but it is a testament to his visionary genius that such a theory is even being circulated.

Addendum: Since this was originally published, some have begun to claim that Siri stands for "Steve is really inside."

My Most Wanted Itunes Feature

I have a simply request for Apple: Let me choose where I save my iOS backups. Right now, they dump to the C partition by default, and there is no in program way to change that (you can set up what are essentially redirects, but that's no good, really).

What I really want is the ability to save my backups on an external or cloud drive - just like I can with my library.

Steve Jobs' Death

"Remembering that you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose." - Steve Jobs

It is incredibly humbling to consider that one of most successful and wealthy men in the world has died from one of the most common killers in existence: cancer. In my family, cancer has been a major killer. Thus, I look at Mr. Jobs' as a dark mirror into what could one day happened to me.

Most likely, I won't die a millionaire, my death will make national news, and I will not be considered a world changer.

This realization does not trouble me, because I know that I was created for purpose and I will always do my best to fulfill that purpose with the help of the Lord.

It is important to remember that even the wealthy suffer in death. Mr. Jobs' family will miss Mr. Jobs as much as the family of a poor Chinese labor would miss its patriarch. It is also important to remember that death has a great equalizer: judgment before the Almighty. I will be treated no differently before God that Mr. Jobs or you would be.

Mr. Jobs' spiritual quest has been well documented. Jobs pursued Buddhism and psychedelic hallucinations. It is possible that Jobs rejected Christianity by lumping it together with the religion of his biological father (Islam) as a "desert religion".

As Mr. Jobs family suffers, we can only pray that Mr. Jobs was found by grace some point before his death. Were this the case, he would have found true and eternal success. Success at the foot of the cross. Success over death!

RIM vs. Apple: RIM Wins in THIS Are

I sell a product that is used primarily on cell phones, and making a demo video showing it being used is just logical. On RIM, there are tons of free apps that allow this to be done. On the iPhone, one must jailbreak the phone and then use a Cydia app.

I am somewhat surprised that Apple doesn't make this process easier.

Thank You, Dentist

I went to visit my dentist today to have a tooth "filled".

However, this was in all actuality the trip to fill in a tooth chip that I got several years ago. The original filling fell off at some point in the last six months. However, when I got the dentist he informed me that filling the area would require him to take off more tooth than the feeling would protect! So, after conferring with him, I left.

Thank you Mr. Dentist.

Husbanding

If I can end the day with my wife knowing that I love her, then despite what may have happened at work, or whatever other kinks may have happened in the day - that is a good day.

Things Are Settling Down Nicely

Sarah and I had a laid back, fun weekend.

We had a blast listening to whatever we wanted on Spotify. The free version of Spotify meets our needs for now (and makes them money, apparently, via advertising). The library is truly impressive. The only music I couldn't find were obscure Vineyard Winds of Worship albums. But who knows - I may have simply been searching incorrectly. I was even able to find Christ for the Nations albums on Spotify. If I ever make more time to listen to music, or resume a heavier traveling schedule, I think that I will spend the money on Spotify for a premium account.

I tried out several contract apps. I can take customer order signatures directly on my iPad for contracts now. There is a cost to doing this that will limit how often I do so; the contract app wants to charge 1.99 per contract. That isn't a big cost, but if I was ever in a scenario in which timing did not matter, I would not use it. 1.99 per contract is significantly cheaper than overnighting a contract. The quality of the document will be much better than it would with a FAX. I personally hate faxing.

Saturday, I went to the Gunshow in Memphis at the agricenter. While walking in, I was treated to what was perhaps the best signage I have seen in my life. Let me qualify that. By best, I mean most amusing. I will let the sign speak for itself.

As you can see, it starts out with a gun and knife show and lightens up with Kids Town and a Foam Party before coming out strong with Amber's Fight for Life Wrestling Event (I hope the wrestling even raised a lot of money. I'm sure it did, the name is very attention getting).

In many areas of the country, having these events together would have made the news. I'm glad that in this respect Memphis is sane.

One of my friends ended up buying a nice Ruger Super Blackhawk. I've never shot one. One day I want a big bore single action hunting pistol, but I have no way to justify that now.

Church was nice on Sunday. Sarah played in a string quartet and the music was wonderful. The quartet had piano and organ accompaniment. It was very peaceful and soothing. The choir did an nice job as well.

After church, Sarah made a great chicken salad which we had on sandwiches.

We recently read through Hebrews, and are now going back through it with a commentary. We will use several commentaries as we approach the book. I've always been fascinated with Hebrews.

My Wishlist for IOS

I am pretty excited for iOS 5. The state of the smartphone and tablet world in general pleases me and things will only get better. I have a wish list, and since I'm not a developer, I don't know which of my wishes I will get!

1. Ability to create new albums on each device. Even blackberries allow a person to create a new folder! iOS limits you to dumping each picture in the same folder. That stinks - let me organize them ON my device!

2. Profiles (for iPads). I'm not talking about two logins, but something more like driver memory as found in luxury cars. If a car with this feature has two drivers,each can program their seat preference. iPad profiles could include browser favorites, icon/folder locations, push/location preferences... And be synced with the cloud.

3. Better video. I have been on several networks (Sonic Wall and Watchfuard) that allow YouTube playback on PCs but struggle with iOS devices. The H.264 standard is great, and not an apple standard, but apple needs to push better adoption practices. Too many companies have issues with standard firewall settings, video, and iOS.

4. Buy Nuance. Seriously apple, buy Nuance. Reap the benefit of their voice technology. Beat Android on this key mobile interface issue.

5. Better calendar alert options. When I make a calendar appointment in Microsoft exchange and sync it to my iPhone, I have far more options regarding the alerts. I can specify that I receive notifications 1 min., 3 min., 17 min., 42 min., or 984 days prior to a calendar event occurring. But this level of flexibility is not available when I input calendar appointments directly into my iPhone. Instead, I have canned options that I can scroll through available to me. For some people, the ability to scroll through these options is amazing. For customers like me who heavily utilized their calendar, there should be the option to allow direct text and put in this field.

Ah, Huntsville

Yesterday Sarah and I made a quick trip to Huntsville. Quick, as in we left church early and spent less than 4 hours in Huntsville before heading back around 5:55 PM, CST.

I'm glad we went. I think it made Sarah feel a lot better to get home one last time before the wedding, and we of course had a trunk full of items to bring back. The real reason this was good is that she knows we're close to her parents. A four hour jot over to her parents is nothing; a day trip is easily accomplished.

The dog even seemed to enjoy it. And he's crazy.

A Little Bit 'o Nostalgia - OR - A Saturday Afternoon Scanning Wedding Pictures

I have a job, I guess. The women in my life have told me this. It is to scan all the pictures of my childhood, and of Sarah's childhood, and then to make some sort of fancy slide show.

Of course, I should know how to do this and do it without complaining, because I'm a man, and this isn't as important as everything else the women are taking care of. And in case you can't tell, I'm poking fun at everyone.

Going through these pictures is causing me to feel nostalgic. To be honest with you, I simply have not thought much about my childhood recently. I've been feeling a drive to go forward and conquer. Also, in many ways I didn't enjoy my childhood. I had good parents and all, and I can't really tell you why, other than I really disliked school and school makes up the bulk of a kid's life.

There are a lot of good times in these pictures though. Prom dates I thought I might be really interested in down the road. Cleaning guns. Fishing with Dad. Christmas with cousins. Pictures I could use to get relatives thrown in prison. All the good things of growing up. Looking at my pictures and looking at Sarah's, we could have been in the same regiment in Jr. Montana Freeman Militia School.

Mud Island

Today we went to Mud Island to the Mississippi River walk. The river is in flood stage which made the presentation seem even more powerful.

Here is a picture of Sarah and her brother taken at the River Walk:

Today, I Was the Idiot in Church

Every Sunday in church, someone's phone rings. Everyone looks offended, gives the half look of disapproval, and thinks "What an inconsiderate idiot!"

I was that guy today in church. Ironically my parents were visiting our church today. We met them before service and I tried to get my dad to allow me to put his phone in airplane mode. He Would not, but put his phone in vibrate mode.

I use my phone as my bible in church and also to take notes. As the pastor opened the 9:15 service, the 9:20 alarm I put on my phone for one day but meant to take off sounded. Because alarms bypass vibrate mode on iPhones.

Yeah, I was the idiot today. :/

I Am GLAD I Don't Have Comcast Phones!

I use Comcast for my primary business internet connection. In addition to Comcast, I have an AT&T DSL backup connection. I run my phones on a PRI; the T1 for this is provided by AT&T. Of all my local services, telephone is the most critical (I of course host my web sites off site at a data center).

Comcast regularly calls my business trying to sell phone service. They have great rates on phone service, but they do not offer guaranteed up time according to the reps.

Memphis had a serious wind storm the evening of April 19, 2011 (Tuesday). You can see what it did in my area in one of my earlier posts.

I'm glad I don't use Comcast for phones because I would not have phones right now with Comcast. It's that simple! Several businesses in my building use Comcast's phone service, and they have effectively been out of business since yesterday morning. I pay more with my current method of phone service, but I am ALWAYS up. In the event of an outage, AT&T guarantees a work crew will start fixing my system within 4 hours.

That is NOT My Car... Thankfully.

As I went to my vehicle today, I could not help but be glad that I has parked my car a few car lengths behind it's normal position. That was almost me! Yikes.

Upgrading to Watchguard 11.4

I've been planning the upgrade of my XTM505 to Watchguard's 11.4 release for some time now. This version of came out in March and I have been waiting to see if any major issues were noted. It appears stable, so I'm making the upgrade.

This was my first Watchguard upgrade, and as such there were a few things I didn't understand.

My questions were:

1. What is the preferred order of upgrade?
2. How does the software get to the actual XTM 505?

The preferred order of upgrade is Watchguard System Manager (This will also upgrade the Server Center) on all systems running System Manager. Yes, The 11.4 System Manager can control your device while it is waiting for the upgrade and still running an earlier version (11.3 is the only version I can confirm 11.4 will run from personal experience).

The software "gets" to the XTM 505 by you downloading the update and "installing" it one the box running Server Center. You don't install to the Firebox, you install to Server Center, in other words. Then, you connect System Manager to the Server and schedule the upgrade. Pretty nice!

Sticking to My Guns

I have had great luck with diet change in the last couple of years, but I've always gotten to a certain point and then started to fail. This is normally the holiday season (imagine that).

I made a grocery store trip last night and did some healthy cooking. Packed my bags for work... And then forgot them. Oh well... I won't just give up!

To home at noon go I!

I Still Can't Believe the UCONN / Butler Game

I enjoy championship games, but I was very disappointed in the NCAAB Championship game. the 2011 Championship just didn't deliver.

I don't have much time (I'm on lunch) but the reason for the disappointment is that Butler just wasn't a well rounded team. They were fantastic on defense - majestic even. but they shot something line 18% from the field.

Any team that lopsided will fail eventually. I can't help but admire Butler, but what a low-scoring, disappointing game!

Personal Improvement

I have been thinking about the subject of personal improvement lately. Like most other things that I spend a lot of time thinking about, this has been sparked by my upcoming marriage.

I believe that improvement requires an honest assessment of the current state of that which a person is attempting to improve. I suppose that technically one could improve something without understanding the degree of improvement that is taking place, but personally I don't feel that there is any point to improving something if a difference cannot be noted. Improvement requires a before and after comparison point to be fulfilling and worthwhile.

Benjamin Franklin wrote about several of the methods he used to improve himself in his autobiography. My favorite method was his systematic documentation of his flaws. He divided his life up in the 13 areas and would daily document his feelings in each area. One week he would focus on area A and document only his flaws in that area, the next week he would focus on area B – again only documenting his flaws in area B. He called this his path to virtue.

While Benjamin franklin and I would most likely disagree on the source of virtue, I appreciate his efforts to be virtuous, and feel that what he learned offers a lot of insight. Of particular interest to me is his admittance that after he documented his flaws he realized they were far greater in number then he had ever thought possible. Documenting his flaws allowed Franklin to successfully identify trouble areas, work to master them and, finally, to verify his mastery of them. Of course, as a Christian I don't believe that true defeat of vices is possible with out the regeneration of the Holy Spirit, but that is an issue for a separate post.

Enough about Franklin: what are my personal flaws? What areas do I, Matthew Nowlin, need to improve on?

I'll keep this to fairly nonpersonal issues – but know that more introspection is going on here then is readily obvious.

The first area that I feel I can improve on is my physical fitness. The serious and an ongoing battle for me and I'm going to attempt to use Franklin's method of daily journaling and analyzing to help me here. I am also going to rely on Sarah's help in this area. Honey, please hold me accountable!

The second area that I feel can be improved using the methods discussed here is overall discipline. I'm not a loose cannon or a rebel without a caused by any means, but I do not feel as disciplined as I would like to. I do immature things and I flat out do not like that.

A subset of discipline is mastering my time. I hope that in time I can develop a much greater discipline in this area and master my calendar. Like a child, I often have difficulty doing basic things like going to bed on time and waking up early in the morning. Sure, I get everything done that I need to, but those two basic daily tasks left unmastered have left me with a feeling of immaturity. I think that when Paul said " I beat my body and make it my slave" he probably did so with a sense of glee - if his body was indeed a slave to him, he had to feel incredibly empowered.