Tuesday, July 04, 2006

Ghosts in the Church

River Valley sees a lot of use in it facilities. Probably 4 to 5 times as much use as the average church with its numbers, probably 10x the average church with its square footage (I'm proud of that, I feel it is good stewardship). Because of this heavy useage, our business pastor is a big believer in getting the carpets cleaned. Clean carpets last longer, after all.

Well, Shawn and I were elected to clear everything out of the areas getting cleaned, which were all the childrens areas, the lobby, and the main auditorium, and then come back at midnight to close up. We're going to put everything back in place tomorrow.

While locking up, we opened the back door and saw a car that looked way out of place. It made us a little nervous as the previous night there had been an alarm that no one can figure out, so we searched the building and finding nothing, armed the alarm and left. But we both still felt uneasy (I mean, I could swear I had seen "moving shadows" in the dark). So, we did what any young man would do. We grabbed pipes and went looking in pigchamp, pos, and we're waiting to hit up Suite 1000.

How do I have time to type a blog in the middle of a security sweep, you ask? Well, Shawn saw a chair in Alan's office that he was supposed to put together, so he's putting it together while I type. As soon as that chair gets put together, Mr. Burgler is going down old school.

What would I do if I saw a burgler? I imagine the Viking in me would come out. I would instantly sprout red chest hair and blonde pony tails and grow a helmet without horns. Horns, you see, are a Wagnerian worship of Norse Culture. If you picture horns on Vikings, the Nazis with their paganist historical revisions have won. And no one wants to be the person that makes that happen. After the hair reconfigurations I imagine I would take a swig of mead and sprout a battle axe in my hand, at which point I would go Norse on the burgler and then offer him some lutefisk or lefsa, before calling the cops.

Oh well, the chair is together, time to go hunt some ghosts.

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