Lesson Learned: Be Quiet and Go Away (sometimes)

Sarah and I had a great weekend in Chadron, NE. My former youth pastor and good friend is performing our wedding June 11, and we needed to spend some time counseling. Sarah and I both come from good backgrounds, but just like every other person in the world, we have preconceptions that can add baggage to a relationship. Our goal has been "To do things right" throughout the relationship, and the purpose of this was to be another stone laid in that relationship.

So we flew into Rapid City, SD and then drove down to Chadron, NE. By the way, if you need a car rental in Rapid City, SD, I recommend Dollar Rent-A-Car. They had a price that was about half of what the airport based rentals were charging because they didn't have to pay airport fees, and it only took us 7-10 minutes to get from the airport to the car rental place (yeah, I know, great job timing there Matt). I have family in the area in addition to the friends we visited, so I can say with some certainty that I will use them again.

We got in midday on Friday and received some counsel. Part of our homework for the evening was a test that involved us answering questions about ourselves in several areas related to marriage, and also answering how we felt our to-be would answer. Saturday was grading day for the questions, but I'll jump the gun and let on that having dated for four years, we were both accurate guessing what our to-be would answer.

Saturday, we hopped in the Subaru rental (which I loved, by the way) and went to Mount Rushmore. The goal was to have an enjoyable day and knock out the counseling we went to get. Doing the counseling in the car was a fantastic idea for me at least. The scenery offered me something different to look at constantly, and relaxed my mind. I felt much more "involved" with the conversation at the end of the day than I would have if we had simply stuck ourselves in an office and yelled "Go."

I learned a lot and was reminded of a lot in counseling, but had one truly epiphanic moment when we were talking about conflict resolution and handling emotions. To be honest, this wasn't even only about conflict between Sarah and I, but also helping the other person work through conflict with others.

Anytime Sarah has had any type of problem with me, another person, or a situation, I have tended to want to destroy/fix (same thing) that problem. Whether it meant sitting down right away and talking about it, making a run to Wal-Mart at 3:00 am, or having a come-to-Jesus talk, I have wanted to solve the problem now. That is a personality strength and weakness of mine.

Through this weekend, I came to an understanding that Sarah needs time to process things and that I am not abandoning her or shirking my duty if I simply leave her alone. This is perhaps obvious to many people, but to me it was a revelation of humongous importance.

Also, I haven't worked out since Thursday, so I'm going to hit it hard this afternoon.

A Great Weekend in the Cities

When I left Minnesota last fall for the oilfields, it was my intention to visit the cities as often as I could. I was thinking once a month. That was realistic with me working on the oil fields. Obviously the oil fields didn't work out, and neither did my travel plans.

I've been tremendously busy in Memphis, working late nights at the office and on car deals. This experience been tremendously rewarding at times, and tremendously painful at other times. In other words, I needed a break.

I flew into Minneapolis, which is "God's country." It was great to visit friends and family, but it was a little difficult getting around. Note to self - rent a car next time.

For those that care, a recap of what I did:

• Friday night - brief meal with Pastor Alan. It was so good to see him. I love that man like a brother.
• Saturday - shooting with my friend Ben at his brother's house. It was a blast. He has a super nice family. Good people.
• Saturday Night - Saw Vanman, looked at the house he's closing on. I think he can make some money on it if he keeps it a while and keeps it full of renters.
• Sunday - Church in the morning, had lunch with Pastor Troy and did a little shopping, then had dinner with my cousin in the evening.

I stayed with Shawn Roehl, and it was great to see him. I put him right up there with Pastor Alan on the brother feelings.

It was good to get home - I'm now more motivated to work and get out of Tennessee, back to God's country.

Connecting with Cousins

One thing I'm doing right with this move is taking the travel light. I'm hoping that unlike other moves, I won't feel like I should take a nine year nap when I reach Roosevelt. In the spirit of that, I called my cousin and her husband (I guess some would just say "my cousins") to see if they wanted to have dinner. Not only did they end up not letting me buy (rascals), but they put me up in their very nice home as well! I'll have to remember to grab a picture of their house in the morning. They've got a nice place - when you drive on the main road by their house, there is a breathtaking view of the Rockies!

We ate at Thai Basil. It was a great meal. I had a beef dish which was cooked, in regards to hot spice level, exactly where I ordered it. This is really a rare treat. The muchrooms in the meal were a bit... spongey. I think I like that though, but I'm not sure.

The best part though, was getting to connect with my cousins. Amy was much older than I growing up, so I never really got to know her. And I really had only spoken for maybe five minutes with her husband since they got married last year... so it was a great time! I got to find out about their lives out here. The cool thing is that it sounds like they are looking to find a church similar to the one I come from back home. I really would love to see them get plugged in. They're such a nice couple, it would be great to have them in a place where they could go to the next level in their spiritual lives and then continue to grow more like Christ, whatever that looks like for them!

I even showed them some of the videos River Valley has done - they said that it looked like a church they could plug into to, which was cool. We talked till past 10:30. I'm looking to get a 6:00 a.m. start from Littleton so that I can grab some good light for pictures on Pikes Peak... so I had better get to bed.